Written with a very bad headache and broken glasses

The one major thing about japan that has turned out to be both good and bad, in japan i had no contact with anyone here, it sucked in a way but i needed that, i relaly really needed that, there ya go, there is the good (besides some amazing experience that i will not detail here), the bad part of that is i come back and in one day i realize i cant deal with the shit people give me, its not like whining the truth is everyone gets shit put on them by other people most hte time its small no big deal whatever, and thats how i and most people usually are, but for some reason in one day even the smallest shit is driving me insane, i think i liked the solitude just a little too much, there are certain people who i love dearly right now, who i just want to scream fuck off to, im tired of feeling tired, i want to be comfortable, and only a few things really are comfortable to people, like not physically comfortable i mean completly comfortable, a recliner is physically comfortable, i mean the things that just make you feel at peace, that the world could come crashing down and you would be safe right where you are doing eexactly what you are doing, unfortunatly my comforts are pretty much impossible right now, due to parents being home and all sorts of other things, and its incrediably frustrating, i found out a lot of shit about my family in japan that is really pissing me off, i found out a lot of things about my friends in the week or two before i left and even in the one day ive been home, i felt comfortable with myself, for the frist time in a long time up untill about 5 hours ago, and after that looking at it im in a really frsutrated mood that i let my new found peace of mind get disturbed already, im to the point now where im tired of not letting myself be angry when i want to be angry, today someone told me they were sorry for cutting me out of their life, they did it inadvertantly so it wasnt abig deal they didnt mean to and really felt bad and i said it was okay, and it was, but the truth is it really did bother me, and even though im pretty bitter about it the truth of the matter is if you are my friend and i dont just completly shut you out of my life, you could walk all over me and away from me and i would be mad, but swallow all of it, and if you came back i would pretend like nothing happend.


please no one assume im talking about you in particular, cause one thats just a terrible idea and two if it really matters to you call me or post a comment and ill let you know, because i would be one of the ones who would assume so i understand.